I wasn’t going to write anything this morning as my heart is so heavy. I lost a son yesterday, he succumbed to a massive infection that affected his heart. I have no words to say the way I am feeling. I’m left confused, I don’t think I’m feeling the way I’m supposed to feel. Perhaps this is what shock feels like, I just don’t know.

My son Kenny was just 51 years old, he lost his wife just three years ago. His daughter Shyann is left to carry on. My heart aches for her as well. Kenny was a light hearted man, a good father and a good friend. He was loyal and forgiving of others, sometimes a bit silly and immature, as we all are.

He moved to Mount Morris New York over twenty years ago where he was married. Eventually settling in Oneonta New York, his was a life filled with struggles but he endured it well. Peace has come to him now, I know that, but take little solace in that, instead feeling bad for myself and his mother. An internal struggle for meaning I suppose.

I will make every effort to continue my day as usual, I’m told that is the best course of action to take. Life goes on is the saying I most often heard from elders at times like this; honor him and his memory by continuance, that is what he would want. It takes time. Time is finite but the love of a father for a son, or daughter, is not. I never said that to him, I love You, that wasn’t our way. I just tried my best to show him.

Kenny, his wife Jen and daughter Shyann. Seems like a long time ago.