I have never thought I was deprived of anything growing up. I certainly didn’t get everything I wanted. Was I ever disappointed? Certainly, as everyone else is when they don’t get everything they want. I learned to get over it, as the saying was back then. You didn’t let any of that become an obstacle! That’s why you got over it. You didn’t skirt around the problem, you didn’t expect someone else to solve the problem for you and you certainly didn’t feel entitled to whatever it was either. No, you just got over it.

To be deprived is to be denied a basic need. I always had a warm bed, food and clothing. I always had the basic needs. Everything else is just extra. I had a good number of those extras. For that reason I never felt deprived. There were plenty of times when I thought, this isn’t fair. I should get that new bicycle, those new clothes, the concert tickets, the whatever a teenager wants. But I had been taught that those things were the extras, they weren’t entitlements. You get what you work for! That’s on you. Expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed.

You make do. That’s what I was taught growing up. You make the best of whatever it is you do have. You work toward the possibilities but base your expectations and emotional responses on the probabilities. It’s great to be optimistic, have that positive attitude, but you had best learn to accept reality. Reality has a habit of just slapping you in the face. Reality doesn’t care about your feelings. You can’t change reality, although given enough money, power or influence you can get others to play along. That’s about the best you can do. The reality is just like the lyric to the song, “nobody loves you when you’re down and out.”

The things I didn’t have? Well, I’ve thought about that over the years. It wasn’t things I didn’t have, it was really things I didn’t do. Now, there are lots of things I wanted to do that I never got to do, like going skiing, traveling to a foreign country, joining this club or that, taking a family vacation. All the things that the “rich” kids got to do. Yes, it felt unfair at times, my parents should have the money to provide all of that. They should be doing more! I did feel entitled. And why was that? Well, everyone else was doing those things.

It was during the 1920’s through the 1950’s that consumer credit really gained a major foothold in American society. Yes, there was credit before that, installment plans for high end goods was available, most notable being Henry Ford and his automobiles making that available to almost everyone. My parents certainly used that with their “revolving ” charge account at Sears and Roebuck and a few other companies. I don’t believe my parents got a credit card until the 1970’s or so. The mortgage, the car payment, insurance and the electric bill were all top priorities. Those items were always the major concern. Food and clothing came next in line. Entertainment was last on the list. Eating out, it wasn’t on the list at all, never did that with my parents, not once. Still, I was never deprived of anything.

It’s a lesson I feel many parents today are simply failing to teach. How to, “make do.” I was taught how to make a kite, a pushcart, a bow and arrow, all sorts of things like that. I did learn how to make do with the things I had around me. It took imagination. What is imagination? It’s setting aside reality for a while. Reality will always replace imagination in the end. Kids knew that back then. That’s why we didn’t need warning labels on everything! We were aware of reality. Yes, it’s a real thing! Doesn’t matter one bit how you feel about that. Doesn’t matter one bit if you feel like it isn’t fair. Your feelings do not alter reality. You had best learn to accept reality, and make do with that! Work toward the probability and dream of the possibilities. Between the two, all you can do is make do.