I’m beginning to think this blog may have run its’ course. I have been writing, nearly every day for over seven years now. I guess there is a limit to what I have to say. Just how large a ” file ” is the human brain ? Does that file differ in size for each of us, or is it merely the ability to retrieve data that differs ? I know I have a hard time locating a file every now and again, lately, more now than again. I have made a conscious effort to not repeat myself, but realize I have not been completely successful in that. There are reoccurring themes in my life that form the basis of who I am.
 I have made some discoveries along the way, although I admit I wasn’t surprised by many of them. The challenge has always been to fit my thoughts into the mosaic of life in general. I have always held a certain confidence in my conclusions even when faced with opposition. I’ve always felt that life was more of a mental challenge than a physical one. Perhaps that stems from a lack of any great physical prowess.
 Stephen Hawking is a prime example of that. Yes, he was a bit of a genius, but his physical challenges didn’t deter him from his pursuits. You might say, it added some credence, invoking a bit of the sympathy factor. Not that he required that, just that perhaps it helped get him noticed. Talking like a computer couldn’t hurt, especially when talking about stuff only other geniuses really understand. I don’t necessarily agree with his conclusions, having my own understanding of the universe. I do think he has described some of what has taken place, this big bang theory. I don’t think he understood what made the big bang in the first place. As brilliant as he was, he is no match for the mind of God. But then again I do not require an explanation for everything, some things I just take on faith. Reality is whatever I believe it to be. It may not be your reality,  but if I believe it, it is mine ! Can I convince you of my reality ? The truth is I have been trying to do that since my birth. It is what each of us do.
 Yet again I have wandered off in my thoughts. I do enjoy writing these essays, opinions, ramblings or whatever they are. I also struggle with the belief that they should serve a purpose of some sort, be of use. Am I wasting time when I do things to amuse myself, when I allow myself a vanity ? To put it another way, is that a productive use of my time ? I think in order to answer that question I would have to know why I am here in the first place. The age old question, to what purpose. Do we need to know our purpose in order to fulfill our purpose ? The paradox for me is, I believe when I have fulfilled that purpose I will be done, gone from the earth. We call it deceased. Ceasing to exist in a physical sense. Will I know when that happens ? And if I do, will I know what my purpose was and whether I was successful ? Is heaven success and hell failure ? Are they absolutes ? Is life as we know it a pass/fail situation ? Depends upon what you believe, or for some, what you have been convinced to believe. The easiest person to influence is you ! Holding onto our convictions is the greatest challenge we face.