It has been suggested that I submit some of my writings for publication. Very flattering words to hear. They both humble and inspire me. Like a lot of others I dream about writing a book one day. Perhaps the great american novel. An instant classic. Perhaps not. But I do think we all have important things to say and stories to share. Over our lifetimes we gather these stories and gather information. They are collected by experience. The variety of experiences vary with each of us. Whether you are a world traveler, or have never left your hometown. Are you a scholar or a simple man ? No matter really, you do have something to say.
The problem lies in that for most of us the stories are fragmented. We only learn the truth in pieces and for most, we never put the pieces together. Like a giant jigsaw puzzle the pieces are laid before us, the picture is there, but we just don’t put it all together. Oh we start on the edges, the straight pieces are easier, but the heart of the picture is much more difficult to see. Much more difficult to organize.
I am still searching for the pieces to complete the picture. I don’t have a box top to see what it should look like. I hesitate to put the picture out there for fear it is incomplete. Unfinished works do not get published. The fear of rejection is also a factor. I would be less than truthful if I said anything else. It is true I will never know if I don’t try, but I’m not convinced I want to know.
I think the real question is, how important is it to you ? At this point I think I will be satisfied with writing these blogs. There original intent remains unchanged. A written record of my thoughts and memories for my descendants to read and enjoy. How important is it to me to share these same thoughts with the rest of the world ? Other than a measure of vanity and possible monetary reward, not very important. I think that is why I haven’t pursued publication. Some may call it fear,some may say I’m lazy, and some would agree I’m just not that great a writer. All are true statements. Motivation lies at the core of any endeavor. It is also true persistence reaps rewards.
I have a reluctance to try. Why ? Because I don’t want it said that I submitted my stuff and it was rejected. The fear is not in one rejection or two, but in total rejection. I just don’t want to seem foolish or vain. Who would know, you ask ? I would. Pleasing others should be a goal we all strive for, but often we do things just to please ourselves. This would be one of those things. I wouldn’t want to disappoint myself. And that is the truth of the matter.