I felt a touch of shame this morning. Grabbing my coffee and settling behind the keyboard I fired up that computer. Good morning Facebook. A quick scroll down the page and I realize that today is Palm Sunday. That is where that touch of shame comes in. There was a time when I would have been acutely aware of this and anticipating its’ arrival. How is it possible I could have forgotten altogether. I know how it is possible, but don’t want to admit to that either. If I was attending church services,as I should be, on a regular basis I most certainly would have known. Shame on me.
I wrote about attending church some time back. I have not found a church I really feel at home in here in Greensboro. I haven’t really attended many at all, so I take the responsibility for that. There is no Episcopal church in town, or even close by for that matter. It is not that I dislike those services I have attended in other peoples houses of worship, it is just not home. There are a few practices that I am not comfortable with. Again, not that anyone else’s form of worship is wrong, just so far, wrong for me. It is a difficult feeling to describe. I don’t want to come off as what Mom would call, “sanctimonious” but some of that ceremony I expect in a church service is missing. I think it is a matter of ritual and practice.
I also think that I am more of a” publicly private person.” What I mean to say is,  I think faith is more of a private conversation with your God, than a public display of that belief. It is only right we should assemble in his name. To me, my faith is implied by my attendance.
I am also aware that all of this philosophizing may just be an excuse. Reasons for not attending. Going to church services is not always convenient. I had gotten out of the habit and now find it hard to return. Much like a lot of other things, the experience is not the same as we remember. That is a convenient excuse. One needs to repeat the experience on a regular basis in order to develop the habit. An awareness of this is a beginning.